


Out of Reach

by Meowser_Clancy



Series: Madney Moments [10]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, F/M, Love, reaching out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:28:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24222808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meowser_Clancy/pseuds/Meowser_Clancy
Summary: Tag to s2e6: Dosed. Chimney glanced up. "Making sure you feel safe, and more importantly, are safe, isn't a waste of time at all. Besides. You're part of the family now. Buck's sister is our...sister." Madney.
Relationships: Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Series: Madney Moments [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1748338
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Maddie

Maddie wasn't sure what to expect when she met Chimney, but this wasn't quite it. All of Buck's stories made him sound more dramatic, more flamboyant. But no. The mild mannered Asian man standing before her was quietly amused, staring at the tablet in his hand.

"The ladder is still in the kitchen, but I can grab it so you can start," she began.

"Don't worry about it," he said. "We've still got a long way to go just on the digital side of this. But I'll have it set up in no time." His eyes twinkled at her, briefly flashing up from the tablet to meet hers.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I wish I wasn't so clueless about this stuff."

"No apology necessary," he said. "Besides, now I have an excuse for not helping Diaz and Buck with the heavy lifting."

Maddie laughed, feeling herself relax around him. That was definitely something she hadn't expected. Buck loved and respected Chimney, as he did all of the crew, but he was always lacking, for lack of a better word, reverence when he talked about Chimney. His stories were always tinged with a little mocking, all in fun though. She'd almost expected a drama queen, but the Chimney standing in front of her couldn't be more easygoing and respectful. And his smile...

Maddie bit her lip, knowing she was staring, and forcing herself to look away. "Thank you," she said. "You really didn't have to waste your day off with me."

He glanced up again. "Making sure you feel safe, and more importantly, are safe, isn't a waste of time at all. Besides. You're part of the family now. Buck's sister is our...sister."

She noticed the pause between words and ducked her head. "I need to go upstairs," she said. "So much unpacking."

"Go for it," he said, turning back to the tablet.

"Let me know if you need anything," she offered, hurrying to the stairs.

"I will," he said, and she could feel his eyes briefly alight on her.

* * *

She spent the next hour upstairs, her cheeks still warming when she thought about Chimney. He was so cute. And so...calming to be around. She felt safe, oddly. She knew from Buck's stories that he was a gentleman and so very nice, and he was gun shy when it came to relationships too.

She wondered how his past girlfriends hadn't been able to see what a great guy he was.

She shoved the thoughts down, knowing that she couldn't afford to be thinking about him like that. Not right now. It was too soon...wasn't it?

The twinkle in Chimney's eyes and the way she couldn't seem to stop thinking about him suggested that even if her brain wasn't ready for this, her heart was.

She was hanging up clothes, and remembered one more box downstairs, sighing as she got up, hurrying down the stairs and locating it. Chimney was up the ladder, and when he saw her struggling to lift the box, he was down in an instant. "I can do that," he said, at her side in just a moment, deftly taking the box from her.

"I got it," she said.

"I know, but I'm bored," he replied. "Upstairs?"

"Yes," she affirmed, ducking her head and following him when he started for the stairs, going up quickly and not wasting time.

"All done," he said. "This is a really nice apartment."

"It is," she said softly. "I'm really glad it's not out of my price range."

"You've got a gorgeous view," he said, stepping forward to look out of the windows that, as of yet, still didn't have curtains.

"It was a big reason I jumped on this one," she said. "I can see actual trees. It's been a long time."

He smiled at her, before heading back to the top of the stairs. "I'll let you get back to work," he said. "Moving is a bitch and the sooner you finish, the sooner you're done."

* * *

And then there was the couch. Maddie heard Buck swear in the courtyard outside and stood up, her legs sore from the crouching.

"Okay," Chimney said from downstairs and Maddie moved to the top of the stairs, hovering there to look down at him as he jumped off the ladder. "You've officially reached Fort Knox level security."

"You think it's too much?" She asked anxiously, knowing it must have been a pain to set up.

"Three motion sensors in the living room? I mean, maybe if you're trying to keep Tom Cruise from getting his hands on your NOC list…" Chimney cracked.

She paused on the stairs, thinking, and he raised an eyebrow. "Mission:Impossible. No?"

"Sorry, haven't seen it," she admitted, smiling at him.

"Travesty," he said, glancing up at her again, looking perhaps a beat too long. Maddie felt it, but moved to the door, meeting Buck there.

Pizza, on her new couch? After all the care she'd taken to find the perfect one?

She rolled her eyes at her brother, feeling the love burst in her heart all the same. She was so grateful. Beyond grateful. She'd forgotten what it was like to have family around, to be able to depend on others, to lean on someone else. She blinked back a momentary misty eye and turned back to Chimney, pizza in her hands, pausing by his side.

"I'm sorry," she apologized again, missing the way Chimney's gaze shot to her at the words, his brow creasing. "You were showing me the security app."

"Okay, so, basically, you can check everything on here," Chimney began, pausing to look at Eddie and Buck struggling in the doorway. "Lift with your legs!" He turned back to the tablet, shaking his head. "And you can also check it on your phone if you're not at home."

"Well, that's great, because now if I hear a noise in the middle of the night, I don't have to get out of bed to know it's just the ice maker." Maddie's tone was light, but she was dead serious, and knew she'd get out of bed anyway. Probably multiple times.

Eddie and Buck had finished in the doorway, plopping the couch down. That was enough for now. "Hey, thank you guys for helping me on your day off," she said, for what was approximately the five millionth time.

"Don't worry about it," Eddie assured, coming over to grab the pizza. "Plates?"

"Countertop, kitchen," she said, following his path with her eyes.

Chimney looked back down at the tablet, before handing it to her. "Beer?"

"Also kitchen," she smiled. "Fridge."

"Clever," Chimney said, his grin contagious.

Buck walked forward and the words burst from her mouth. She'd learned that honesty was the best policy, and she'd kind of lost her filter around Buck since they'd been spending time together again. "He is so cute," she said.

"Yeah, he gets that a lot. You should meet his kid, though," Buck smiled.

"Wait, Chimney has a kid?" She quipped, knowing he'd misunderstood. Eddie wasn't her type. Not anymore.

"No, I thought you meant…"

Maddie didn't even wait for the end of the sentence. She hurried to the kitchen, eager to spend more time with Chimney.

* * *

It was a very sleepless night. All of her fears returned and, though she'd never admit this to Buck, she wasn't fully ready to be on her own again. It terrified her, honestly. Lying here alone, knowing Doug could show up at any given moment…

She rolled over again, her heart pounding, mouth dry. It was another long night ahead of her. The few minutes of sleep she had gotten had ended quickly, with her gasping awake, terrified to her core and breathing hard.

* * *

It was the end of the next day, and Chimney was there. At her house. Her heart had jumped when she'd seen him on her phone, waving up at her.

Now they were on the couch, at opposite ends, each with their own bowl of popcorn. Tom Cruise was doing something on screen and she was...nodding off…

When she woke, Chimney was draping a blanket over her. "Let me guess, you haven't been sleeping well," he said, voice soft.

"You aren't mad I missed the movie? God, I am so sorry I fell asleep."

"Don't worry about it," he stressed, sitting on the edge of the couch next to her. "We can finish another night."

She blinked up at him. "How long was I out?"

"About an hour," he said. "It took me a minute to find the blanket. Sorry, I went up to your bedroom."

"It's fine," she replied, snuggling into it. "Thank you. Um."

"I should get going," he said. "Let you ease back into more sleep. You need it, Maddie. Otherwise no way you could have dozed off. This movie is incredible."

She smiled up at him, and he stood up. "I'll see you later," he said. "And I'll show myself out."

"Okay," she agreed. "Thank you. I really had a good time."

"For all the time you were even awake," he joked. "Don't worry about it. I put most girls to sleep."

He brushed his hand on the blanket, patting her knee. "Good night, Maddie Buckley."

"Good night," she whispered, and in her imagination, he leaned down to kiss her cheek. In reality, he left without another word.

She wasn't disappointed. She was at peace. She'd spent a whole evening with him without pressure or ever feeling uncomfortable. He hadn't been handsy, or angry she'd missed most of the movie, or tried to move closer on the couch. If she'd been younger, she might have thought it meant he wasn't interested. But now...now she cherished him even more, for taking it slow, for not having sex be his endgoal, for actually befriending her…

She breathed in, smelling popcorn and the lightest trace of his cologne. She could get used to being friends with Chimney.


	2. Chimney

Chimney couldn't deny it. Buck's sister was beautiful, the kind of pretty you didn't see all the time. He knew she'd had a rocky past (he also knew that that was an understatement but he wasn't entirely sure how much of one) but he was amazed at how genuine her smile was. She was moving onwards and upwards, as best she knew how.

He admired that. It had taken him so long to get over his accident, and he'd only recently come to terms with it. He knew that realistically Maddie probably had a long way to go still, but he was oddly relieved to see that she could still smile. Was making a joke with her brother, beaming up at him.

Buck had asked Diaz and Chimney on Wednesday if they could come over and help his sister finish moving. Chimney had caught a glimpse of Maddie the other day, but they'd been in such a hurry, he hadn't really fully noticed her.

Buck's sister was incredible. She was so much more than Chimney had been expecting, and the warmness of her smile made his chest tighten a little. He'd expected someone more like Buck himself; he hadn't been wrong. Buck was friendly and open, warmhearted and a jokester. As Chimney watched the siblings interact, he could tell that Maddie was mostly the same. She teased her brother and had no reservations about making him suffer. Her smile was for nearly everyone, and she was very welcoming.

But Chimney could tell that Maddie wasn't this way with everyone. She'd balked at traditional movers, hadn't wanted strange guys touching her stuff, and had said thank you so many times to Chimney and Diaz that it was too much. She was so grateful, so almost surprised that they'd help her without asking for anything in return but a beer.

Speaking of beer, Chimney took another sip of his, gazing at Maddie over it.

She was sitting cross legged on the couch; after pizza, they'd adjourned to the living room and were sitting around chatting for a bit while Buck and Diaz got up the energy for round two of heavy lifting.

"Did you two meet Abby?" Maddie wondered.

"I did," Chimney replied, and her gaze shot to him. Their eyes met and Chimney felt the room slow for the briefest moment.

"I'm as new as you," Diaz replied, and the moment was gone. "Never met her but Buck won't stop talking about her."

"She was a good egg," Chimney said, wondering where the words had come from. Such an odd way to say it. He mentally slapped himself. Was he trying to sound like his grandpa? "Good at her job."

Maddie smiled. "I wish I could meet her," she admitted. "I'm liking my coworkers but she sounds like she was beyond good at her job. I need to meet someone that confident, but still so empathetic."

"She works with a lot of assholes," Buck interpreted. "But she's too nice to say it."

"Evan," Maddie reprimanded, flushing a little. "I am not afraid to say things as they are if the situation merits it."

"She got a lady fired for hanging up on people," Buck bragged. "That's my sister. Stands up for herself and the underdog."

"Shush," Maddie warned."Or I'm going to show everyone your prom photo."

"Too far," Buck protested, and the banter continued.

Chimney, usually someone who always had something to say, found that he was more than content to just sit back and watch. Observe.

He wanted to get to know Maddie better. He wanted to make sure she was safe, and had friends, and support. Everyone needed their own village, their people, especially ones that had gone through what Maddie had.

Maddie being isolated was the last thing anyone needed right now, and he quietly assured himself that that wasn't going to happen.

* * *

Chimney left soon after; Diaz and Buck were almost done and Chimney's main job had been to set up her security system. He was glad it had been his task; he knew it was done right.

Three motion detectors. They better catch her asshole ex if he ever came back.

Chimney tensed thinking about it, and turned around, realizing that Maddie had followed him out. He'd made his goodbyes generally, and it was a big surprise that she'd followed.

But a very, very welcome one.

"Maddie," he said.

"I just wanted to say thank you, again," she said, twisting her hands together for a brief second before realizing what she was doing and moving her hands to her sides. "What I need most right now is to feel safe...well, to be safe." She was echoing his earlier words, and he folded his arms, watching her. "And you helped with that. That means so much, Chimney."

"Again, no worries," he said. "If it ever acts up, and I mean ever. Let me know. I will come over as soon as my shift is done to fix it."

She flushed. "Thank you," she said.

"You have my cell, right?" He wondered.

"Buck gave it to me," she said. "I'll let you know if anything comes up."

"Perfect," he said. "I will see you later."

"Alligator," she finished.

His mouth quirked. "Crocodile," he replied. "Bye, Maddie."

He got into his car, and Maddie remained watching him until she was too small to be seen in his rearview mirror.

* * *

He wasn't sure what prompted it, but he found himself at Target, a store he tended to avoid, and Mission:Impossible was right there. Blu-Ray edition even.

He stared at the DVD for a moment, considering. Would she...Did he dare…

He picked it up without another moment's thought, turning off his brain, the thoughts that whispered negative things, the derisive laughter at him daring to hope again.

He had leftover wrapping paper from Bobby's birthday earlier that year. It was just a housewarming gift. No big deal.

No. Big. Deal.

* * *

Big deal.

Chimney rang her doorbell, waved up at the camera, and then Maddie was there, smile on her face, eagerly opening the door.

She was beautiful. Dressed to be home, in jeans with ripped legs, and another blue shirt.

He liked it.

"Hi," she greeted, stepping out of the way. "Come on in."

"Hello," he said, walking past her, screwing up his courage, breathing deep. Make it simple. This is not a date. It doesn't have to be a date. A romantic relationship is not endgame. Being her friend is endgame.

"So. I was just out, and I saw this, and I thought of you," he said, turning back to face her. God. She was beautiful.

He held out the package and Maddie took it, her face lighting and then falling. "What? No," she said, pushing it back at him.

"It's just a housewarming gift," he said, shoving sweaty hands into his pockets.

Why was he so nervous?

She shook it, smiling at him, accepting it. "Oh," she said, hearing the rattle. "Not a book."

"DVD. Mission:Impossible," he said. Now he'd blown the whole surprise. Great going. He smiled, as she laughed.

"Uh, you do have a DVD player, right?" He wondered, wondering just how far off course he was right now.

But her next words assured him he was on the right track.

"Yeah, and a popcorn maker. Would you like to hang out and watch a movie?" Her smile. He could barely breathe.

"Yeah," he exhaled. "Yeah, I'd love to."

* * *

Popcorn was made, and Chimney carefully prepped his own bowl, using a light amount of salt and butter.

Maddie saw his, smiled, and then upended the cheese onto hers. "Cheese is good," she said.

He was glad there were two separate bowls. He didn't want her to think he was just trying to 'accidentally' touch her hand.

Beer in their other hands, they walked back in. Chimney settled onto one end of the couch and Maddie gingerly settled onto the other end.

One tiny moment of awkwardness, which was erased when she pressed play. He'd prepped the player while she made popcorn and it was all ready to go.

The movie started and Chimney was into it. Maddie was laughing at appropriate parts, definitely into it, and then she was placing her popcorn bowl aside.

Chimney left to use the restroom, and when he came back, she was asleep.

Good.

He'd seen the dark circles, and she'd mentioned to Buck on Saturday that sleep had been difficult.

He settled back onto his side, careful to not wake her. The movie finished, and she was still fast asleep.

He looked around him now, hoping to spy a blanket. There was a laundry basket at the other end of the couch but Maddie was blocking it; that was out.

He'd have to go upstairs.

Hoping he wasn't crossing a line, he quietly walked to the stairs, grabbed the throw from her bed, and came back down, refusing to linger in her room.

He draped it over her, and she woke up.

Sleeping beauty for sure.

And she was so embarrassed, but Chimney, honestly, couldn't be more pleased. She trusted him enough to fall asleep with him there.

That was good enough for him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tag to s2e8: Buck Actually.

The movie ran late, plus Chimney wanted to wait until the end of the credits.

Maddie finished the popcorn—there was only one piece left—and idly licked her fingers off.

How long had it been since she'd gone to a movie in theaters? How long had it been since she'd seen a new release? Years and years. It seemed like centuries.

She looked over at Chimney next to her, his eyes still glued to the screen as the credits rolled to a finish.

"Done yet?" She asked, quirking a brow. "I think you're the only person I've ever known to finish the credits."

"I got in the habit because of marvel," Chimney replied and she raised an eyebrow. "You have no idea what I'm talking about."

"I don't," she admitted, as he stood up, brushing his hands off before offering a hand to her to help her up.

She hesitated for a brief second, and she saw Chimney reconsider, and she quickly placed her hand in his, shaking off the nervousness.

She stood up, and dropped her hand from his. It shouldn't be weird. Just because Buck was being goofy it didn't mean they were dating. That was what they'd talked about when Chimney had come by her work. Hadn't that been the conclusion they'd reached? She wasn't sure. She thought it had been future: "I've got time."

Her heart filled suddenly, startlingly, and she found herself staring at him, heart on her sleeve, love in her eyes.

He turned to face her and she ducked her head, feeling her cheeks heat.

"I've got good news and bad news," he quipped. "It's raining cats and dogs."

"The good news?" She asked.

"That was the good news," he replied. "Just kidding. I'll get the car. We parked, like, two miles away because you didn't want to pay for parking, but I won't make you walk through this."

"Hey, I don't mind," she said, her mind clearing as she looked out the lobby windows with him. He was right. The rain was pounding down, and she was surprised she hadn't noticed before now.

"I'm serious," Chimney said. "Just wait here. I'll put it around."

"No," she said, suddenly firm. "I'm not making you walk alone when it's my fault we walked so far."

"I wasn't being serious about that, I love that you knew where to get free parking," he began, but she ignored him, moving past him to open the door. "Maddie."

Her cheeks heated again, and she realized he'd used the word love, if only in a general sense.

"Come on," she said, tossing him a glance over her shoulder. "What, are you scared?"

* * *

Chimney felt everything within him burn at that moment. The look in Maddie's eyes, the outright dare, the pout on her lips, and the raise of her eyebrows.

He had never been more afraid, and more willing to risk everything. "No, of course not," he said.

She seemed to realize the weight of the moment too, and her response was flight. She pushed the door open the rest of the way and dashed out into the rain.

He heard her squeal before he was outside himself, and they were both running, trying to dodge puddles and mainly failing. It was _so_ wet. LA never got rain like this, and of course it would happen on a night like tonight. Right at the worst timing.

Or…

Maddie was slowing down, and she was laughing, harder than he'd ever seen her laugh. "Only to us," she said, gasping for breath and putting her hands on her knees.

He stopped too, the rain in his eyes, running in his mouth, watching her.

"We're already wet and I don't know if I can run more," she admitted, staring up at him. "This may have been a mistake."

"It wasn't a mistake," Chimney whispered, reaching to brush some of the wet hair back behind Maddie's ear.

"What?" She wondered, and suddenly they were standing so close.

He was staring at her, and she was straightening, standing tall.

"Chimney," she whispered, and he shook his head, forcing himself to take a step back. "Chimney."

"Yes, Maddie?" He managed.

"Can I kiss you?"

It took him a moment to register the words, to realize the meaning, to figure out what she'd said. "Maddie," he breathed. "Not if I kiss you first."

He placed his hands on her cheeks, feeling the rain pound down, and stepped closer. Their foreheads rested against each other and he could just barely feel her breath on his lips.

And then he kissed her.

Her lips were warm, and soft, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd kissed someone and it had been like this. This was electric. This was insanely good. Her hands were on his shoulders and he found his arms wrapping around her waist, tugging her closer.

The rain was only getting harder, but he honestly wasn't noticing it, as her tongue slowly slid against his lips and he lazily opened to her, desperately trying to take this slowly, desperately trying to hold back, but Maddie wasn't holding back.

And then they parted.

Maddie stared at him, her breathing fast and shallow, and he found himself taking a step back, trying to give her space.

She took his hand firmly in hers, and they walked the rest of the way to the car.

* * *

Maddie left Chimney's bathroom. They had been planning to drive out to her place, but the roads weren't looking good and it just didn't make sense to drive that far when his place was right there.

Or that's what she'd told him in the car. "We can just wait for the rain to slow," she said. "Buck's going to be there anyway and we might as well say hello."

Chimney had laughed, and they'd gone to his apartment.

Buck wasn't there. "I wonder if he's coming back, or if his Buckette has her claws in him," Maddie scoffed, using her jacket to try and dry her hair a little.

"Go ahead and get changed in the bathroom," Chimney said. "I've got pajamas and towels, just give me a second. I promise they're clean."

"Thank you," she said, slipping out of her shoes and carefully leaving them by the front door.

"Just wait there," Chimney said, and she watched him leave, soaking wet but determined. Her mind wandered, going back to that moment in the rain, when their lips had touched and the world around them had melted away, when common sense and rational thought had been the least important things in the universe. Maddie's world had consisted of only two things in those moments, Chimney, and how firm his arms around her were, and how safe he made her feel.

He came back in a moment, laden with towels and, sure enough, what looked like freshly washed pajamas.

"I'll just be a minute," she said.

"Don't rush, take a shower if you want, I've got plenty of hot water," Chimney said.

Maddie considered it, but decided she'd prefer a quick shot of whiskey, hurrying through changing her clothes and hesitating over the sopping pile now on the floor. Did she just want to toss them in his dryer?

The bra was the most glaring culprit. She couldn't put that in the dryer without killing it, but she didn't want to just leave it in the bathroom.

She finally hung the bra over the shower curtain and hung the shirt over it. She'd worry about it later.

Right now she didn't want to take up too much time in the bathroom. Chimney needed to get changed too.

She exited the bathroom, still trying to dry her hair, going to grab her purse from the kitchen because she knew she had a comb in there.

Chimney was there, a shot glass in his hand; he'd had the same thought, apparently, and his eyes rose to look at her when she walked through the door.

He choked on the alcohol, his eyes widening, bending forward and coughing for a moment.

"You okay?" She wondered, trying to defuse the moment.

"Yeah, I just didn't think anyone could make my pajamas look that good," he joked. "Oh, god, I'm sorry, please don't take that as a come on. Apparently being wet erases my usual filter."

"You don't have a filter," she said, locating the comb and attempting to work it through the tangles. "Now go and get change. You don't want to get a cold."

"Yes, mother," he murmured, slipping past her to leave the kitchen, leaving her alone to sink down into one of the chairs. Her knees felt like jelly right now. The _heat_ in his gaze had her shaken, and she wasn't sure what she should be feeling right now because...it felt good. His eyes on her, like that, his visceral reaction to her wearing his pajamas...it felt good.

And it wasn't that she didn't want it to feel good, she just knew she wasn't ready for something like this yet, she wasn't ready for the hormones, and the anxiety, and god, she hadn't even filed yet with Doug because she didn't want to think about it yet. Couldn't think about it yet.

She took the bottle of whiskey from the counter, poured herself a shot in the same glass Chimney had used, trying to breathe.

* * *

Chimney had to get it together.

He knew that.

He took his time changing, pulling on sweats and one of the blue LAPD long sleeved t-shirts, trying to not look at Maddie's clothes hanging over the shower rod.

He wondered if he should offer the use of his dryer, but suddenly didn't know how to ask, so he just hug his clothes next to hers, wondering what the game plan was from here. It was already near midnight. They both had work the next day, and the original plan had been to take Maddie home after the movie.

The original plan had been to not kiss.

God. That kiss.

He breathed in, breathed out, exited the bathroom. Maddie was sitting at the kitchen table, attempting to comb her hair out.

"Need some help?" He wondered, and she laughed.

"Honestly, I'll take it," she said. "My arm hurts, and it's still so bad."

He took the comb from her, careful to not let their fingers brush, but Maddie moved her hand intentionally so that his hand closed over hers and not the comb.

"I don't regret it," she whispered, and the released the comb.

Chimney breathed in, breathed out. He carefully started to comb her hair, starting from the bottom and going up; he'd had long hair in college and knew that was the only way to not make more tangles.

She was quiet now, and Chimney moved to stand more behind her, and she leaned her head back against his stomach.

"I can't keep combing if you do that," he teased, and she smiled up at him.

"Screw it," she said, snatching the comb away. "It's not going to get much better." She slid from her chair, standing up and turning to face him. "Chim. I know I'm not ready for this."

"You don't have to be," he said instantly. "I'm not asking for anything—"

"I am," she admitted, her eyes huge as she looked at him. "I don't want to sleep on the couch; plus, at this rate, Buck is going to get home soon and fall on top of me."

Chimney laughed, one brief ha, before his heart sped up again, his pulse pounding in his ears, wondering what she'd say.

"I know Buck will freak but I don't care," she whispered. "Can we sleep together? Just sleep. I'm tired and it just makes sense."

"I should start charging the Buckleys rent," Chimney cracked, trying to diffuse the tension. "Of course, Maddie."

Her eyes seemed to melt, so warm and brown, flecked with gold, and Chimney couldn't tear his eyes away from the beauty of her face.

And she stepped into his arms, wrapping her arms tight around his waist, burying her head in his chest.

His arms slid around her in return, holding tight, holding fast.

He wasn't going to let her go. Physically, yes, he'd have to release her sooner rather than later, but emotionally…

He wasn't sure what he'd done to deserve Maddie in his life, but he wasn't going to let anything stand in his way of making sure she stayed there.

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: couldn't sleep and this came to mind. Of course it wouldn't be easy for Maddie. Anxiety and her probable PTSD (?) are going to make everything harder. This is def based on real life experience too.**

**And we're picking up right after chapter 3 ends. ~Meowser**

* * *

"I'll stick to my side of the bed," Chimney promised, a joke in his tone.

Maddie knew he was being serious though. She wanted to say it wasn't necessary but she wasn't sure what was necessary so she just smiled.

She carefully slid under the covers, perched on the very edge of the bed. She saw Chimney open his mouth, saw him pause, and he didn't say anything as he climbed into bed, carefully staying on the opposite side.

"You ready to turn the light off?" He asked a bit later, after checking his phone.

"Yeah," she said.

"Your phone's plugged in?"

"Yeah, your charger cord was long enough," she said and he smiled.

"Just glad there was an extra one," he said. "Alarms are set. We shouldn't be late."

"And there's enough time to drive me back to my place to grab clothes?" Maddie wondered, knowing there would be but unsure what else to say.

"There's a full hour for that," he said. "Maybe even time for breakfast. There's this great bagel place at the end of the block. My treat."

"I might have to take you up on that," Maddie said. Silence. Awkward silence.

She hadn't expected awkward. She shouldn't be too surprised though.

"But yeah, to answer your question, I am ready to turn off the light," she said, sliding down under the covers. Her head touched the pillow and Chimney reached for the lamp cord and then it was dark.

She felt him slide down, the bed shifting, and then he stilled.

"Good night," he said, voice rumbly.

"Goodnight, Chim," she whispered and almost felt his smile.

She rolled over, feeling her eyelids droop. Surely sleep would come easily. She was so tired.

It didn't. Even though her body seemed to recognize that she was exhausted, her mind was on high alert and she didn't know how to turn it off. She kept telling herself that she trusted him, and she did trust him, but it was harder than that. It was talking herself down. It was quieting the voices in her head that never seemed to shut up.

She rolled over again, facing the middle of the bed now. She could see the outline of Chimney, just a dark bump in the bed now. He was asleep, she assumed, his breath whistling softly.

She closed her eyes. She wouldn't be surprised if hours had passed and one thing was for sure.

She wasn't going to get any sleep tonight if she didn't figure out a way to calm her anxiety.

She could feel the tears threatening, and found a sob welling up. God. She covered her mouth with her hand, trying to silence herself, trying to be normal for once, wishing life would just be easy for more than five minutes at a time.

She didn't know what to do. She was frozen in place, terrified, stuck in a realm between the future and the past and couldn't be farther from the present moment.

Her mind was stuck, taking her back to bad places, taking her to Doug and long, silent nights. Taking her to places where she cried herself to sleep, times when she locked herself in the bathroom and slept in the tub, long, horrible nights when no sleep had been had.

What would make it different?

Her mind raced, desperately looking for a solution. The tears were flowing now, a heavy stream from her eyes and she didn't know how to slow them. She needed to make this feel different, she needed something tangible to pull her from these moments, she needed...

She needed...

Chimney.

It still took her a long moment to get up the courage, but she was slowly shifting to the middle of the bed, forcing herself onward, telling the voices in her head to hush. She tried to swallow another sob, but the noise stirred the silent room.

And Chimney was stirring awake, waking to find her close.

"Are you crying?" He whispered. "Maddie-"

"Will you hold me?" She whispered back and he was already pulling her into his arms, cradling her against his chest. Tight.

"It's okay," he whispered, his hands smoothing her hair. "Maddie. Breathe."

She moved closer, getting as close to him as possible, trying to slow her gasping breaths. His hands were moving in soothing circles on her back, relieving the tense muscles there.

Her face was pressed against his heart, and she drew in a shuddering breath. His arms were tight around her, snug, holding her close, keeping her warm.

"Count to five," he whispered. "Then count backwards from fifteen."

Her hands slowly relaxed; they weren't fists anymore. The numbers echoed in her mind. She spread her fingers, flattening her hands on his chest.

She could breathe again.

She felt his lips land on her hair. "Better?" He asked, his hands still moving on her back, slowly pausing. His hands were splayed, covering her shoulders, slowly moving to close his fingers around her arms.

"I think so," she said, pressing a kiss to his clothed chest.

Chimney exhaled, sliding arms around her, holding her even closer. "Wanna talk about it?"

"No," she said, relaxing, closing her eyes.

"Ready to sleep?" He wondered a few moments later, and she nodded against his chest. "Good night, Maddie."

"Thank you," she breathed, and his hands seemed to flex, holding her tighter.

"Any time," he said. "Every time."

* * *

She slept through the night, waking to his carefully set alarms. He was moving carefully from her arms, stretching to hit the snooze button, before coming back, sliding his arms back around her.

It felt good to wake up next to him.

"You good?" He wondered, a touch of worry still in his eyes, his fingers starting slow circles on her back.

God. He was too good for her.

"Yeah," she whispered and threw her arm over him, snuggling back into his side. "Five more minutes."

She felt the laugh rumble through his chest, and he moved his arms tighter around her, keeping her close. "I guess we can take another five."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Hey y'all. This one is pretty short but I have more coming that are tags to 2x10: Merry Ex-Mas.

Look at this cover! zorallens on Instagram designed it for me and I want to cry it's so beautiful.

This prompt comes from rosemarysbaby13 over on Instagram. Enjoy y'all. ~Meowser

* * *

It was over. Brandon was good. He was out. He was safe.

But his phone kept ringing and at this point, after it had served its purpose, Chimney was just finding it annoying.

"Well. Someone really wants to talk to you," he said, holding the phone up.

"She told me not to answer it," Brandon said weakly.

"Maddie."

Just the word made Chimney's heart still, made his heartbeat increase again.

"The 911 lady. She said she would ring it for you to find me."

Chimney didn't even think about it. He hit answer, his heart beating at a ridiculous rate. It was Maddie. Just Maddie.

There was no such thing as just Maddie. God, his heart was beating fast.

"Maddie?"

He heard her inhale, instant surprise and recognition. "Chim?"

"Fancy meeting you here," he replied. Hearing her voice made his heart skip a beat.

He heard her surprised laugh, he could almost see her shake her head. "How's Brandon?"

Although he knew why she wanted to talk to him, knew she was worried, Chim wished just a little she'd asked something else first. _How are you?_

That was just silly though. Of course Brandon was first on her mind.

"He's fine. He's here. Do you want to talk to him?"

"I do," Maddie said, exhaling with relief. God. It was so weird how clearly he could picture her, with every word. The hair toss. Maddie adjusting in her seat.

"Just a sec," he said and held the phone up to Brandon's head.

They talked. Brandon had tears in his eyes.

And their conversation ended. Chim brought the phone back just before Maddie hung up.

"Maddie?"

"Chim," she said again. "Yeah?"

He hesitated, suddenly unsure of what to say. "You did good."

He heard her snort. "I barely did anything. You guys did all the work."

"Maddie, you are the one who saved his life, even if Buck and I are the ones who performed CPR," he said, insistent.

"Okay," she said and he knew how unused she must be to being told that. How uncomfortable and unwilling she was to believe it.

"I'll see you later," he said.

"Yeah," she sighed.

"So you know her?" Brandon asked Chimney after Chim was done.

"Yeah," Chim replied. Brandon stayed quiet the rest of the way to the ambulance, taking in everything, breathing clean air again.

Buck and Chim got inside with him, and Bobby gave them the go ahead.

The ambulance pulled away.

"I didn't think I'd make it out of there," Brandon confessed. "Maddie kept me sane. Her voice was the only thing that was keeping me here. It's not only her calling my phone, it's how she made sure to keep talking when we were still on together."

"911 operators are trained for that," Chim said distractedly, running Brandon's blood pressure again.

"But it's more than that," Brandon said. "I'll remember her voice for the rest of my life... I want to meet her. Thank her in person."

"That's not necessary," Chim began, already tense.

" I think Maddie would be very happy if you did," Buck interrupted. "This job has been rough on her so far. No one has come back to thank her yet."

"How do you guys know this?" Brandon asked, surprise in his voice.

"She's actually my sister," Buck said.

Brandon started a little. "Whoa! Huge coincidence!"

"Not really," Buck said. "Emergency responders have a very finite number even in big cities like LA."

"That's incredible," Brandon said. "So what's she like?"

"I don't know," Buck said. "She's my sister, what else can I say? She's good at everything she does."

There was an almost sulky tone in Buck's voice. Chimney noted it immediately, wondering just how bad things might get between the siblings if they were living together. While Maddie had been staying with Buck, it had been fine but no family was perfect and Buck was a terrible roommate, something Chimney had learned the hard way. He hoped it would be fine.

He just hadn't been able to wake up like that again.

"Is she cute?" Brandon asked.

"How should I know?" Buck said. "You think I'm going to have an acceptable answer to that question?"

"Well, is she?" Brandon asked, laughing a little. Chimney realized that Buck was probably just trying to distract Brandon right now. The ride to the hospital wasn't going to be short.

"She's fine," Buck said. "Listen, I'll tell her that you're fine with her coming by to check up on you."

"What?" Chimney asked, unable to keep quiet. "No, you won't."

Both men's heads swiveled to look at him.

"I mean, you'll never remember," Chimney mumbled. Was Buck being serious right now? He couldn't tell.

"Just tell her she can call me," Brandon said. "Ask her. To call me."

Chimney gritted his teeth, trying to not say anything.

"Sure," Buck agreed.

Chimney kept quiet for the rest of the ride. He knew he was being irrational. Maddie was that type of person. Of course she would call to check up on him if Buck told her Brandon wanted it.

It didn't mean anything. He had no reason to feel the way he did.

He had no reason to feel so jealous. Maddie was her own person. She could do whatever she wanted. The last thing he wanted to do was control her. The other last thing he wanted to do was pass on the message that Brandon wanted her to call him.

He held back when they reach the hospital, watching as Buck pushed him in, too far away to hear what Buck told him.

"Chim is kind of her boyfriend," Buck said. "Though they won't call it that. I'll tell her to call you for sure but that's all it will be."

"Oh, well, that's fine," Brandon said, flustered. "Then just tell her thank you. Again. From the bottom of my heart, thank her so much."

Buck walked back over to Chimney. "Man, he's got it bad for Maddie. I can't say I blame him. Talking to Abby had me the same way."

Chimney's hands clenched but he refused to show that it bothered him, refused to let it bother him. It shouldn't bother him! He was being aggressive and possessive and he didn't like it.

"Yeah," he said simply, and determined not to think about it anymore


	6. Chapter 6

Chimney just wanted the perfect Christmas present for Maddie, and as he and Buck wrestled the tree into Buck's truck, Chimney couldn't wait to see her reaction. Buck had assured him that Christmas was Maddie's favorite time of year growing up, and Chimney was banking on that.

He couldn't wait, he thought again, as they drove to her house. He hoped that Maddie wasn't mad that he'd dumped Buck back on her, but surely she understood. Besides, the real answer was Buck finding a new place entirely.

Which was probably not happening anytime soon, Chimney reflected, which meant that for the near future, a lot of their dates would include seeing Buck.

Dates.

Chimney's hands tightened on the steering wheel. He'd thought about it as dates, a word that he'd never used around Maddie, a word that he had convinced himself he wasn't even thinking about. But here he was.

Dates.

God. He'd love to go on a date with Maddie Buckley.

He remembered how instantly she'd known his voice earlier that week on the phone with Brandon, and his chest tightened. There had to be a little something more to their relationship, and she'd said...she'd said she'd let him know if things changed. When things changed.

Thank god Jason had helped him with the tree, Chimney sighed, trying to think about something else. He'd had no idea how to pick one out, and that had changed the whole experience.

Jason was a great guy, he thought, pulling up in front of Maddie's house, excitement bubbling in his chest. He was so excited.

He wondered why he'd felt it was so important to correct the man when he'd assumed that Maddie was his girlfriend. Just because of honesty? Yes, Chimney was an honest man, but surely, it was easier to let strangers think whatever they wanted.

But, and he couldn't put his finger on it, the way Jason had said girlfriend made it...lesser. And Chimney wasn't doing it just because she was his girlfriend, even if she had been. He would have done it to make her year. Because he wanted her happy.

He really wanted to see her happy.

And now he and Buck were wrestling it into the house, and Chimney couldn't wait.

"Ho, ho, ho," Buck announced, and Chimney rolled his eyes, but saw Maddie coming out of her room at the top of the stairs.

"Surprise," he called, watching as she came down the stairs. God. She was so graceful, but today, it was like the sight of them had chilled her veins, and she was clutching at the railing.

"Wow," she said, just standing at the top. "A Christmas tree."

"Yeah," Chimney said proudly, releasing the tree and turning to gaze up at her. "Buck said you didn't have one yet."

Surely this was the best Christmas gift possible.

And yet.

"Is this okay?" He asked, staring at her, feeling his heart sinking. He'd messed this up. He wasn't sure how, but he'd messed this up badly. "Is this the wrong kind of surprise?"

Of course...Maddie lived on planning things and making sure nothing was ever unexpected.

"No, it's so sweet," Maddie said, but the way she couldn't even look at the tree and was staying so far away from it was a huge red flag. "Really. I love that you did this." Her voice was cautious, and every word rang untrue.

"You just didn't want it," Chimney said, wanting to slap himself. How hard would it have been to just ask her what she wanted? "That's okay. I mean, we shouldn't have assumed."

He could see Maddie panicking, and he felt awful for putting her in this position.

"I just really wasn't gonna do much Christmas this year," Maddie stammered, trying to find words that were gentle and nonoffensive, he could see it. She couldn't be honest, was terrified of being honest and saying just how okay this wasn't. "All of my decorations and stuff are back in Pennsylvania."

Buck had missed this entire exchange, only hearing the last words out of Maddie's mouth, waltzing back into the living room laden with the gift bags. Chimney desperately wanted to keep him from speaking but he couldn't say anything in time. "And that is why we bought everything you need," Buck enthused. "We have lights, we have ornaments, We even have an angel high for on top of the tree."

Chimney saw Maddie's eyes grow even more panicked, darting everywhere. She was crossing and uncrossing her arms, and he didn't know what she was thinking, but he could tell what was happening.

She was moving forward, and took the angel from Buck's outstretched hands, slamming back into the box. "No, angels are creepy," she said, and Chimney could tell that she was shaking.

"You know what, I think we might have overstepped," Chimney said, desperately trying to smooth over this moment. "Maddie should be able to pick out her own decorations."

Buck was staring at Maddie, but he shifted to staring at Chimney in disbelief. He could almost see the words running through the younger man's mind.

"We'll just bring this back to the store," Chimney interjected.

"What are you talking about?" Buck asked, talking to Chimney but staring at Maddie. "You can't return a tree. Come on." He was bending down a little, trying to catch Maddie's eyeline. "You always loved Christmas, right? Ornaments, stockings, cookies. You made your own bows."

"I'm not really feeling the holiday this year, okay?" Maddie said, defensive, and Chimney wanted to slap himself. Victims of domestic abuse had a hard time around the holidays. Obviously.

"Well, no, it's not okay," Buck said. "Come on, what's going on with you?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Maddie said, voice raising.

"Guys, it's fine," Chimney said, one last effort to stop what he could tell was coming. "You know what? I'm just going to take away the evidence before this turns into a crime scene."

He hoisted the tree, leaving the room, leaving the house, so frustrated with himself for not even having checked with her. Buck and Maddie were fighting, and Chimney's heart ached. This was not how this was supposed to have gone.

He dumped the tree at the curb, staring up at it. "Bah humbug," he said, his heart aching.

* * *

Life was crazy, Chimney thought, patting his pockets one more time to check for his wallet as he got into his car. At least he still had his keys.

He checked all over his car, before shaking his head. He must have dropped his wallet. At least Jason had been there. Crazy coincidence.

Now. Christmas.

Chimney stared at the DVD in his hand, knowing that another Christmas of watching TV alone and eating take-out awaited him. And he was okay with that.

What he wasn't okay with was the idea of Maddie spending Christmas alone, even if she didn't want to celebrate it. Buck had mentioned that she had tried, but failed, to pick up a shift at the dispatch center, and Chimney wondered just how much she wanted to escape the holiday.

He just didn't want her to be alone, but he didn't want to push it again. He'd crossed major boundaries with the Christmas tree, and the last thing he wanted was to cross more by insinuating himself into her Christmas.

But he couldn't let her do this alone.

* * *

His heart jumped when he knocked on her door, and he bounced nervously until her face appeared and she opened it. He knew that she had to have known it was him, so at least she was still talking to him.

"Behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy," Chimney began. "Chinese food and Die Hard, the greatest Christmas movie ever made."

Well, she was smiling, but her lips moved and his heart fell again. "I'm sorry," she began, and he wondered if she was about to ask him to leave. "About the tree. I shouldn't…"

"Whoahoho," Chimney interrupted, seeing where she was actually headed. "Christmas is supposed to be about feeling safe and warm with the people you care about; that's the gift."

She was nodding, and Chimney could see her eyes welling up. "What it's wrapped in doesn't matter," he finished. "Who needs a tree?"

She extended her hand, a smile on her face, and he took it, reveling in the feel of her skin against his.

"Well," she said. "I decided I do." She'd pulled him inside, and there was a tree before Chimney, his tree, decorated and twinkling and...perfect. "I didn't steal it. Someone left it on the sidewalk, and I didn't have a lot of time, so it's not perfect."

"Who needs perfect?" Chimney said, dropping the Chinese food. "It's…" His eyeline shifted from the tree to Maddie, who was standing there, so straight and tall, so strong. "It's beautiful. What made you change your mind?"

"The holidays with Doug weren't a celebration. They were a performance, pretending to be a happy couple that had it all. I just didn't want to pretend this year."

Chimney wanted to pull her into his arms, let her know that it was okay, let her know that every choice she'd made was the right one.

"I realized that he's taken enough from me," she continued. "I'm not going to let him take one more thing, and I sure as hell am not gonna let him take Christmas."

She turned around, and Chimney could see the tears in her eyes, and he wanted to tell her that she didn't have to...but maybe she did. She was letting it out. "Last year was my worst Christmas ever, but maybe also my best." She was staring at Chimney. "That's the day I decided to leave."

He reached to take her hand, taking a huge chance. "Now that is a good reason to deck the halls," he whispered, and she was stepping into his arms, and he was holding her close, breathing her in. Maddie was so precious to him. He hated her past, and he hated that she had these scars, but he was so glad that he was the one she wanted to spend this Christmas with, that she had chosen to rewrite her past, and that he was the one she was going to rewrite it with.

He wasn't ever going to forget this moment, and how much she meant to him, and how much she trusted him.

He was never going to make her regret this.

"I didn't have time to make hot mustard on my way over," he apologized, breaking the moment, stepping away from her.

She laughed, wiping tears from her eyes. "That's okay," she said.

"So I stopped in China town and grabbed some," he finished, slipping it from the bag.

"Chimney!" She exclaimed, her eyes lighting up. "You are way too good for me."

"Nothing's too good for you," he murmured, following her to the kitchen with the rest of the food.

It was an interesting way to spend Christmas, but Chimney had never been much for tradition anyway. They sat on the couch by the Christmas tree, and Maddie slowly moved closer to the point where her head rested on his shoulder. They ate Chinese food, and gasped over Die Hard. She'd never seen it before, and Chimney was anxiously watching her more than he was watching the movie, praying that she liked it.

And she did. She almost applauded at the end, something that Chimney loved about her.

Christmas was nearing it's close, and the food was gone. Maddie had brought out some Christmas cookies that had been a gift from a coworker, and they were nibbling.

"Maddie," Chimney whispered. "Merry Christmas."

She turned to look at him, stirring from her snuggled position on the couch next to him. "Merry Christmas, Howie," she said, her lips curving into a beautiful smile. "Thank you for being here with me."

"I wouldn't be anywhere else," Chimney said.

She was so close, and Chimney wondered if she was going to kiss him, but she was pulling back, and snuggling back into him.

They fell asleep there, not waking until Christmas was over.


End file.
